I’m a retired police sergeant and former SWAT team leader. More importantly, I’m a father, a son, and a partner. Today, I help run a suicide prevention program for military members, first responders, and their families.

We lost our oldest son Tyler to suicide at 18. He was smiling, making plans, and building motorcycles. We believed better days were ahead. Then one phone call changed everything.

As a police sergeant, I had delivered death notifications to many families. One day, it was my family’s turn.

The grief shattered my identity. I stayed on the job, continued responding to trauma and suicides, and eventually became suicidal myself. The night I decided to die, a text from my daughter saying “Hey Daddy” pulled me back into the fight.

Today Tyler’s memory walks beside me as I help others crawl back to their feet. I’m grateful to be here — and grateful for what I can do with that pain today.