Jason C

I’m a 20 year veteran of the sheriffs department in cook county IL. As a first responder I have experienced my adversities but none more difficult than my own personal demons.

In march of 2018, I was in a very dark place. Although I was married, two kids, house, cars, clothes, I appeared to have it all. Only I was dying on the inside. Struggling with daily life and the struggle of internalizing the stress of the job!

I had always been a social drinker, but was now a full blown alcoholic. Drinking myself to the point of blacking out. I was putting down a fifth a day of vodka! In March of 2018, I found myself sitting at my kitchen table. Depressed, anxious, hopeless and drunk. I decided at that moment I couldn’t take this life anymore and got my duty weapon out and poured a shot as well….which one was next? I chose vodka, but I wasn’t done. I raised my Glock to my temple and closed my eyes. I then pulled the trigger. Only nothing happened! I hadn’t loaded the pistol. Not because I didn’t want to, but I was simply too intoxicated. At least that what I thought. I thought I had beat the demons. Man I was wrong…I continued to drink and drink and drink…..until I hit rock bottom. I lost it all. My marriage ended. Lost my house. Kids every other weekend. Pretending to have it all together.

I DIDNT NEED ANYONES HELP! I DIDNT NEED ANYONE! I GOT THIS!

Wrong again.

I met the woman of my dreams. By shear chance. Long story short…she believed in me. She saw something in me. SHE is the reason I am still here. She is now my wife. Mother to my third child. And we are thriving. Communication. Support. Love. And above all faith. Helped to put my demons behind me!

To this day, there’s not a single day that goes by I’m not fully aware of the struggles that wait for me daily. But with help from my angel here on earth, faith in myself, and the good lord watching over me, I am able to keep those demons in the past!