Robby B.

For close to 20 years, I have battled depression, PTSD, and suicide attempts. It was only recently that working with my therapist, who is a saint and miracle worker, and talking to my friend, that I actually feel free and want to live again. My buddy was injured at work and is looking at a second spinal surgery. I blamed myself for him getting hurt and really hated myself and wouldn't allow myself to get help or get better, let alone be happy. I finally broke down and had the talk with him and told him that I blame myself for his injuries. He told me he's never blamed me, and that, that isn't my guilt or blame to carry.

It got me thinking. That him getting hurt was just the straw that broke me mentally. Over 15 years ago, a co-worker, and someone that I respected, killed himself. I was the last one that talked to him that day, and I lived with the guilt of his suicide for years. The guilt of not stopping him. But, I understand now, that I wouldn't have been able to stop him if I knew. And it was never my burden to carry.

Once I realized that, it was the weight of the world off of me, and I was able crawl out of my darkness, into the light. Now, I'm happy, want to stay that way. I want to live and experience life. And more importantly I want to help others get to where I'm at now.