Brennan L.

Hey there. My name is Brennan. I guess my story starts when I was 14 when I found drugs and alcohol. I began using and steadily increased use. I got a dui, and then another before I graduated high school. After high school I went straight into the blue collar workforce along with still helping on the family farm, where I met more people doing other drugs than the weed I was used to. It was a once in awhile deal, but it grew more comfortable and more often. When I was 27 I moved to a farm and it was on. Booze and weed to calm down, then the other stuff to keep me going. No neighbors around so it was a party for a good 2 years. Then one night, I was the last person to see and talk to 2 of my friends and coworkers, I almost joined them but I had my 2 month old puppy with me. They were both killed in a car accident leaving the place we were partying. I woke up from a drunken stuper to a first responder yelling at me to wake up from my kitchen and a house filled with smoke from a pizza I was cooking. That hit me hard. It was a very sad ordeal, but it was so close to being 3 funerals fast forward to mother's day 2019. Talked to my mom that morning. Then went and visited my stepmother's grave, this was about 10am. After that I went to the bar. Proceeded to get drunk all day. Around midnight I finally got home. When I did, I remember that the church had given out cross stickers. I went to the garage to put it on my bike and had an emotional breakdown. I cried for days. I remember it well, trying to pick rock in our fields and sobbing.Just the weight of everything I had been holding in for so long had finally hit it's breaking point. That was the last time I drank. I continued using Marijuana for the next several months, but it seemed like nothing was getting better. January 1, 2020 was when I decided to drop it all. I swallowed my pride, and walked into an AA meeting. It was the most comfortable uncomfortable I have ever felt. I walked in and saw 2 other ppl I used to party with there. One of them being the chairman that night. I haven't looked back since. It was tough coming to terms with my addiction. Even tougher losing people I thought were friends. But it showed who the real ones were. The ones who still invited me out with them. I can laugh now but for awhile they'd still offer me a beer just out if habit. It took awhile but I'd go hangout and if I got uncomfortable with a situation I would leave. They would never question it. Thanks to the grace of God, my family, my friends, and my dogs I have had, I can proudly say I've been clean and sober for 4 years 4 months and 29 days as I'm typing this. There are still ups and downs. And even after this time I'm still learning new, better ways to deal with situations. Just working to be better than I was yesterday. Progress, not perfection and one day at a time. The past is behind me, I'm moving forward today!