Brian I.

Last year my entire world came crashing down around me. I was in an extremely heightened state due to my post traumatic stress disorder and made a terrible decision. Those demons that burdened me for years finally had caught up to me. Due to the reckless choice I made it resulted in my divorce and losing the only family I truly ever had. It also made me decide to finally seek help for the PTSD. I went to a VA inpatient treatment for seven weeks. Those were honestly the longest and most difficult seven weeks of my life. I had to face my past and come to terms with everything I had been through that resulted in my PTSD or the events that had worsened it due to my own actions. I had thoughts of ending my own life since I was nine years old due to the abuse of all forms I had to endure as a child. I was institutionalized at nine for saying I wanted to end my life. I had ruined so many relationships during my years of not getting the help I needed. Now I keep in my that those demons are in the past and I can move forward with my life. They can no longer haunt me or decide what action I will take. I am able to remind myself if I am getting angry or being triggered due to situations that remind me of my past, that it isn't worth letting that rule me. I had caused enough issues to those that I care about and I vowed not to let that happen again. Even though the circumstances of choosing to get the help I needed were less than ideal, it was the best decision I had made in a long time.