Holly H.

Hi Demons Behind Me Family~My story...took a long time to not be ashamed, and to forgive myself for the life I was living.I was in an abusive marriage for 8 long yrs, the abuse started slowly all the time not realizing what was happening. I was always the one to say "that's never going to happen to me". Slowly my light was taken from me, isolated from friends and only spending time with family when I could...it was just easier that way. But along with the abuse I was also a drug addict. Something that bonded us together, we shared that addiction. I had never done a drug before him, and within 2 months of being together I was fully addicted to the drug. My family fought hard for me but I didn't care, I defined everything until I couldn't but again it didn't stop me.Fast forward to 4yrs ago when my x-husband tried to kill me, something that he'd tried so many times before in the 8yrs of hell. But this time something was different, his eyes turned black and I knew that this was it, I called out for God to save me something that I'd never done before and somehow I got free from him strangling me and in the struggle my phone dialed my mom. She heard everything and dialed 911 and had them send the police to my home who where every familiar with my x-husband and myself. The arresting officer stayed with me in the ER all night. He dislocated my arm, concussion, damage to my neck and vocal cords, beaten and bruised and ashamed. I chose to stay all those years and chose drugging above everything else. I do believe God answered my call by calling my mom that night.I sat alone for a long time, trying to figure out how to get ME back, how to figure life out with out drugging without the abuse, because what people don't understand that life was MY NORMAL. It was easier to just go back to hell rather than being honest with myself and my family and friends. I was angry, so angry I lost so much in those 8yrs. I had nothing to show for it but the clothes on my back, my car, and my dogs. Thank God for my dogs. The long road of healing had to begin and so I let it. I let my anger fuel my fire to keep pushing forward. Eventually the anger went away but the fire stayed and I keep pushing forward.4yrs sober and free from the abuse. PTSD is very much real and I'm dealing with all of that. I found my partner in life, who had zero judgment of my past...he said to me the first time we met....We All Have Demons From Our Past. 6 months later I came across you all.I'm no longer ashamed of my past, it's made me stronger and brought me back to my faith and I have my light back! Thanks for listening to my story. My only hope is that this will reach someone who who needs it and they get out too. There is always hope, never give that up. Keep fighting and let you Anger Fuel Your Fire to make a better life for yourself!!My Demons ARE Behind Me!!