We’re all human and we all make mistakes. However, sometimes those mistakes can harm those that we care about the most. They are always the ones we have the most interactions with whether good or bad. The closeness means those arguments hurt more than others. As a result, you may find yourself saying spiteful words during a heated argument. It’s like a volcano that erupts spilling out words of anger, blame and criticism. This is our body’s natural response to a perceived threat. It triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response. Our heart rate increases, we become tense and we often spiral into reaction mode in order to protect ourselves. This lashing out can lead to feelings of regret once the lava has cooled. Now is the time to reflect and own up to your wrongs. Don’t avoid it or shift the blame. Keep the focus on you. The other person may have said or done wrong things as well, but focus only on your part. Just because you accept your own blame doesn’t mean you’re free to blame other people for their parts. Sure, the other person may not own up, but you can ease your conscience by knowing that you did your part. Remember that you can only control your own actions and not anyone else’s. As the old saying goes...holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Apologize as soon as possible. Don’t let things linger and fester or the resentment will only build. Take action and make it right. Saying you were wrong is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is just the opposite. It takes a real man to experience humility by admitting guilt. In conclusion, when you know you are at fault for a problem, the mature and responsible thing to do is stand up and own up to the mistake, accept the consequences and be part of the solution. Recognize where you went wrong and be prepared to fully own what you did. Talk to the person and tell them what went wrong and apologize. Then, move on from the situation, learn from it and know you will do better next time. Holding on to guilt and regret is a demon that must be left behind.
~ Paul Phillips