DeDe

I've grew up in an alcoholic home, saw our Dad beat our Mom up numerous times because they were drunk. Had a lot of unforgiveness and resentment towards my Father for a lot of years. Ended up marrying 3 student times to the same type of man. Thinking that that Was the normal way of showing love. Had a son with my 3rd marriage. He left us when our son was 3 mths old because I wouldn't travel across country with a newborn. Felt abandoned for many years. Tried to marry to fill that hole in my heart, and that failed. Re-married my sons father after our son was 5 years old, thinking it would be better because we could be a family now. Got pregnant with our 2nd child. So I thought It Must Be Gods Plan for me to be with him and Fix Him because HE gave us 2 children together and reconciled our marriage.I couldn't Fix Him, I needed to have God Fix Me before anything else. I needed to Surrender myself and Let Go and Let God. But maybe I could help Fix My Husband cause after all I knew him better than God did. I struggled with trying to just do everything right and just keep the kids quiet and behaving and do whatever it takes to make him happy, everyone would be happy and everything would be fine. Did It Work? For awhile yes, but eventually I would get tired of playing and making it look like I was OK. More anger and resentment buried deeper in my heart. Until I surrendered to God and forgave my husband for all the horrible things and words said to me and our children. I finally figured out I couldn't fix antibiotics but Myself and released my husband and kids to God to. My burdens became lighter and our marriage slowly became more in line with God and now we are the head leaders of our praise and worship band. Our youngest is lead guitarist & vocalist, my husband is the bass player and I play the lead vocals, play the keys, tambourine and harmonica. Our oldest plays the drums, just recently got home from deployment and is reconciling with his 8 year old daughter. God is Good All the Time!!