It took me a couple days to write this it’s hard to relive the emotions. I have been clean since 10/12/2010. I did not get clean by my own choice but I’ve stayed clean by my own choice. There were many factors that lead me into addiction. Abandonment by my mother, becoming a mother myself at 16 and self confidence issues to name a few. My first use was at the age of 19 at a party then at 22 I used again to lose weight at 25 I went to a bar for the first time and that’s when the devil got ahold of me. I was drinking and partying all the time. Now I always had a job, a home and money so I never thought I was an “addict” until I found myself in and out of jail continuously. I couldn’t figure out why I kept getting picked up when there were so many people doing worse than me. I decided to clean up my act and got clean from 2005-2010. I relapsed in March of 2010 and by June of 2010 I was back in jail I was released in August used 20 mins after leaving the jail and 2 days later back in custody. I was released the end of September and high within minutes of my release October 12 was my awakening I was back in jail and lost everything. I looked around and thought this is rock bottom. I was released into drug court in January of 2011 I was clean and sober doing good so I thought. I was still getting in trouble for little things and they terminated me from the program. At first I was beyond angry I went to prison into the rider program. Let me tell you that decision the judge made that day saved me saved my life. I learned a new way of thinking and doing. I learned to accept myself and not carry others burdens. I came home 4 1/2 months later a new person and made the decision to do better every single day. Today I am 12 1/2 years clean. I am in 2 management positions with a very amazing company who gave me a chance. I have started my own small business. I own my home which I never thought would be possible. My children and family trust me again and I have earned their respect back. I know my higher power stepped in to show me a different way and save my life I am forever grateful.