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Demons Behind Me Safe House | Personal Stories - Raw & Unedited

Ricky C.

by James Thelen 12 Oct 2021 0 Comments
Hi, I’m Rick, a 43 year old Father of 3 kids, ages 21, 19 and 12. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 20. We dated for 4 years prior to that. 1 month after we were married our son was born. I went from being a teenager to a married parent in the span of 8 months. I’ve been with the love of my life for over half of my life, until 2 months ago. We had ups and downs just like everyone else but 2 months ago she decided she was done with our marriage. I thought it was just another argument and she was going to stay at her moms for a few days. A few days turned into 2 weeks. At this point I get a call from my son telling me that she never went to her mom's but she’d been living with her boyfriend the entire time. I had communicated with her starting the second week and she led me to believe she was at her moms house. The entire first week she had zero communication with me despite my best efforts. My son discovered this info because his 19 year old sister called and told him that their mom had invited her and her boyfriend to have dinner with my wife and her boyfriend. I was devastated to say the least. In the coming weeks I learned much more about the woman I had married. Not only had she up and started a completely new life with this other man and his kids but I learned that she had been steadily cheating on me since 2005. 16 years of her cheating and I had no clue at all! She slept with men that I worked with and talked to everyday and men that I’d known my entire life that I thought were my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a perfect man by any means. I have my demons but the one thing I never did and never even considered doing was be unfaithful to her and our marriage. See, in the last 6 years I had caught her talking to and occasionally quickly meeting with other men. It was in this time that my trust for her was broken. Those instances caused me to go into a very deep and dark depression. If her and I had an argument that depression would manifest as anger and rage. I punched holes in walls and broke down doors, I threatened suicide and sadly my kids were witness to all of it. Her lies and refusal to try to make any of right with me pushed me to my breaking point. I could no longer function like normal. I didn’t have a job, didn’t have a single friend, never left my house and some days I didn’t even leave my bed. What she was doing had broken me mentally. Within this same period of time I also discovered that the Pastor of the church we attended was trying to start an inappropriate relationship with her. I had known him my entire life. Worked for him for 8 years, he was like a second Father to me. Again, I was devastated. Within that first 3 weeks after she had left I tried to commit suicide 2 times. I was taken to the hospital the first time with minor cuts on my wrists. The second time the cuts were deeper but I couldn’t muster the courage to just press down a little harder. At this point I began reconnecting with friends from my past who I’d lost touch with and they brought me much encouragement and really saved my life. After talking with them I realized that she hadn’t loved me for a very long time. She didn’t feel the same as I did. Once I realized that my depression and anxiety literally were gone. I could see that my dysfunctional marriage was the cause of all that! So here I am now in the third month since she left and I find out from my own Sister about the cheating since 2005. My Sister, my flesh and blood kept this a secret from me for 16 years. Sometime between 2005 and 2008 her and my sister apparently traded stories about people they had cheated with. All this time she knew of multiple times my wife had cheated on me and never said anything. The depression hit me again for a couple of days but it’s fading away now. There are many more details to my story but this is the main part. I’m so glad to have found your products because it will be an everyday reminder that even though I may feel lonely or even sad, my demons are behind me and my past is too!! Thank you for making these things available as they encourage me to remain strong and keep fighting to better my life no matter what!
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