"You can't defeat your demons if you're still enjoying their company."
Posted on 20 November 2019
Your demons are yours to keep or set free by sharing them with others. How many times has someone asked you how you are doing and you say great or fine even when you’re not? It’s the standard answer that we give for many reasons. We don’t want to feel weak or vulnerable. We don’t want to share a deep haunting secret or maybe we just don’t want to inconvenience the other person. Maybe you’re afraid to confront a loved one who has violated your boundaries because you don’t want to damage the relationship. Perhaps you’re in an abusive situation and you’re worried that others won’t believe all of the awful things you’ve lived through. Maybe you’ve been “hiding” in the workplace, not wanting to confront a difficult issue because you don’t want to create conflict or lose your job. No one wants to rock the boat but sometimes smooth sailing is more painful than making a disturbance. Internalizing your feelings doesn’t make them go away. Instead, they linger, eating away at us and waiting to be released. We might take our frustration out on ourselves by overeating or drinking, or we might let our feelings build until one day we explode on some innocent person who doesn’t deserve our rage. I know this all too well as I tend to let things build and fester causing a blow-up. The worst part is that those blow-ups are usually directed at the people who care for me the most. They always seem the most convenient. These blow-ups can be avoided though by not letting them pile up. When issues arise, they must be addressed. Remember, sharing with others is a sign of strength and not weakness. It also gives you the opportunity to set boundaries if someone has wronged you. Find the courage to say what needs to be said. Find someone who will listen and not judge you or confront the person who has wronged you. You may not always get the answer or outcome you expect, but that’s ok. Some people may tell you what you need to hear, some may walk away and some may prove that you need to walk away from them. Speaking up can be hard on you and others but it is not nearly as painful as letting that demon run free inside of your head. Set him free.