There is a lot that I have been through in my life. I grew up being bullied because I was fat/not as skinny and also because I had to work three times harder at sports. From there I joined the army. I served 11 years and 3 months of honorable time until I was medically retired for PTSD and multiple other issues with my knees, back, shoulder, and lower back. I served four deployments 1 to Iraq and 3 to Afghanistan. My career in the army I was a black hawk crew chief and mechanic. I worked and flew on the helicopters in a medevac unit during my tenure. I have seen everything in the back of the helicopter from life being born and the soul leave a body. I have been fighting these issues and trying to find the person I once was. Its hard because you even though family is right next to you, you still feel alone. I felt I didn't belong with them. I have struggled with day to day life. I had addiction problems with prescription pain pills and alcohol to help numb emotions and feeling. Mental health is ok to ask for help and it is ok to let those demons go. I didn't realize that 100 percent until I came across this web site on accident and I am very great full to have found it. When I started to watch the you tube videos and read about what yall do. It can be hard to move forward in life after the things I have seen and done during my time in the service. I live with anxiety, fear, depression, having dealt with suicidal ideations, and the pain from bodily injuries. My kids often ask me if I am ok or will I be ok on certain days because there are times I don't want to leave my house or go places with them due to large crowds. I have been getting help for over 9 years between going to groups and other treatments. I recently found that working with others and also veterans who deal with some of the issues I have is rewarding. Being able to listen and help others struggling not only helps me in my own recovery but with self sharing and knowing they are not alone helps both them and myself. This is an amazing thing yall are doing and I look forward to getting more of your gear and listening to what others share. Again thank you for what you do and stand for. Not sure but I did go to school with James and not sure if he does remember who I am.